his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
