you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize