i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
