so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
