i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
