Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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