so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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