Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
