How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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