You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
