if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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