Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
