Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is classic penis vs brain.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
