Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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