i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize