FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
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Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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