Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
