Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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