Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize