Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize