Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
