...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This girl is more easily done than said...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
