Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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