WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
