the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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