You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize