Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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