it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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