I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
