We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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