He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
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We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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