1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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