I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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