Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
