Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize