i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
