3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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