please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
