the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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