I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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