I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
