How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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