thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
