yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
