I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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