My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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