My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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