Ambien. No doubt about it.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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