I accidentally had phone sex last night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
