Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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