My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
