OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
