You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
