Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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