i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
