wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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