Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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