Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize