We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
