So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
