Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
