youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
