he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize